The proper way to weigh yourself!

New York.., New York...

New York, New York

(Ebb-Kander)

---

Start spreading the news
I'm leaving today
I want to be a part of it, New York, New York
These vagabond shoes
Are longing to stray
And make a brand new start of it
New York, New York
I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps
To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These little town blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
In old New York
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you, New York, New York.

I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps
To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These little town blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
In old New York
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you, New York, New York.

That's right , we leave in the morning for a week! Ryan and I plan to see Janine and Ricky her Fiance and our neice Lilly. It has been 4 long years since we last saw Ryan's sister and family! This will be the 1st time I ever seen the Big Apple! By the way, I just closed the deal on my 1st home sale!!!

Are you lookin for the Perfect Gift for your Valentine?

The Perfect Gift

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this :

“Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety….

WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

Awesome!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Betty what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, right?!! There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Was I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5″ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, “no possible way!” What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best…

I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, “don’t do it master,” reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!

I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, “do it again, do it again!”

Note: If you ever feel compelled to “mug” yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.

SON-OF-A-… that hurt like …..!!! A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.

I’m still looking for my testicles. I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return.”

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Saw this quote

Loved it, so here it is... (I so could have wrote this)

"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."

In Honor of Chelsea

Today makes 1 year since my precious baby girl was stillborn. It was a terrible day that will never be forgotten. I am so grateful for the family I have and I am jealous of those in Heaven who get to know her now. So Happy Birthday little Princess. There is a beautiful Video Tribute that someone made on You Tube, Take a look here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ei5W7vwuod4

Chelsea's page is here: http://couponclipinqueen.googlepages.com/chelsea

A letter from Heaven

My Dearest Family,
Some things I'd like to say
but first of all to let you know
that I arrived okay.

I'm writing this from Heaven
where I dwell with God above
where there's no more tears or
sadness, there is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy
just because I'm out of sight,
remember that I'm with you
every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you
when my life on Earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me
and He said "I welcome you.

It's good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone,
as for your dearest family
they'll be here later on.

I need you here so badly
as part of My big plan,
there's so much that we have to do
to help our mortal man."

Then God gave me a list of things
He wished for me to do,
and foremost on that list of mine
is to watch and care for you.

And I will be beside you
every day and week and year,
and when you're sad,
I'm standing there
to wipe away the tear.

And when you lie in bed at night,
the days chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you
in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on Earth
and all those loving years,
because you're only human
they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry,
it does relieve the pain,
but remember there would be no flowers,
unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you
of all that God has planned,
but if I were to tell you,
you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain,
though my life on Earth is o'er.
I am closer to you now
than I ever was before.

And to my very many friends,
trust God knows what is best.
I'm still not far away from you,
I'm just beyond the crest.

There are rocky roads ahead of you,
and many hills to climb,
but together we can do it
taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy
and I'd like it for you too,
that as you give unto the World
so the World will give to you.

If you can help somebody
who is in sorrow or in pain,
then you can say to God at night
my day was not in vain.

And now I am contented
that my life it was worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way
I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody
who is down and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up
as on your way you go.

When you are walking
down the street
and you've got me on your mind,
I'm walking in your footsteps
only half a step behind.

And when you feel the gentle breeze
or the wind upon your face,
that's me giving you a great big hug
or just a soft embrace.

And when it's time for you to go
from that body to be free,
remember you're not going,
you are coming here to me,
And I will always love you
from that land way up above.

Will be in touch again soon.
P.S. God sends His Love
Signed, your son or daughter.
(Author Unknown)

Politics: This is for both parties :)

THIS IS A NONPARTISAN JOKE THAT CAN BE ENJOYED BY BOTH PARTIES!

NOT ONLY THAT, it is POLITICALLY CORRECT!!

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'

'No problem, just let me in,' says the man.

'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.'

'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the senator.

'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting Rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

'Now it's time to visit heaven.'

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.'

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.'

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,'stammers the senator. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?'

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted.'

STOP THE INSANITY!

Who remembers that from the 90's? Susan Powter is back and better than ever! She is still all about welllness! look at her web page:
http://www.susanpowteronline.com/

She does free yoga classes (which I love and highly recomend!- She even modifies them for all fitness levels!) In fact I will try to embed some here in the order that she makes them.

Enjoy!

Proud of the USMC- Who could resist the Blues?

I have been around the Military all of my adult life, I married a Marine (he has been out since '99) and have friends and family either in or out of every branch.

Happy New Year- The Dolly Project

Ok , I KNOW this sounds just like a thousand other's New Year's resolutions...

But here goes:

1. Get back on track the holidays are over- so is my eating sugar, snacking etc..ALL vacations must end.I start tomorrow doing the "5 Day Pouch test", in order to re-set my habits. I did well , but it's back to business now :) I still managed to drop a pound!
2. WRITE Down and track my exercise. I plan to start jogging when I get to 200 pounds, which will be in '08.
3. Work hard ad work smart- I have many business goals this year- I want to see 40,000 and 24 homes sold.
4. Make my family and God a continued priority.
5. Make some Spiritual and Character changes within myself... Too personal to share, but God is aware :) Hey , I'm a poet and I didn't even know it!
6. Try to update my blog more often!
7. Continue to Fulfill my weight loss goals.
8. Here they are again and I have √'d the ones that I have done already. This is from a post found here

My motivation/goals for WLS

√1. To ride a bike
√2. To walk without being breathless
√3. To sit in chairs with arms without bruising myself
√4. To not have to wonder if I will fit or break a chair
5. To fit in amusement park rides
6. To buy my clothes in a “regular size”
7. To run
8. to swing with my kids.

9. To not have to avoid the beach because walking in the sand I sink and become exhausted too fast

10. To feel good about me
√11. To be able to go all day without napping
12.To be able to tuck in my shirt
13. So I’m not always self-conscious about my weight, wondering what other people are thinking about how big I am.

√ 14. So I don’t end up with diabetes like my mom, aunt, siblings and both grandmothers.
√ 15. I don’t want to have a heart attack before I’m 40
16. So people don’t perceive me as lazy, because I’m not!
√ 17. Because if a restaurant has booths with a fixed (non-movable)
table, I can’t sit in a booth.
√ 18. So I can buy a bra from the rack in the store and not have to buy them off the Internet or mail order catalogs.
√ 19. So I can know, for once in my life, that I was finally able to take control of my eating and my weight.
20. I want to feel attractive and sexy !
21.I want to be able to cross my legs!
22. So that when my hubby and kids hug me they can wrap their arms all the way around.
23.Because I can’t walk at the same pace as my husband, otherwise I’d break out in a sweat and being breathless.
√ 24.A lot of what I have in my closet was not purchased because I like
it….I got it simply because it fit and I needed clothes . I want to buy clothes because I like them.
25. Because I cannot get life insurance.
√ 26. I want to teach my children healthy habits by example.
27. Not ever looking looking pregnant just fatter.
28. To wear cute shoes
29.To be able to fly without paying extra or getting a seat belt extender or worst of all- squishing my neighbor!
√ 30. To be able to walk through a tight space like: between cars in a parking space or in a theater or between pews and people at church or in a crowded restaurant,
31. So I don’t see the “look” when people meet me.
32. So people don’t “not Look” at me and avoid “hearing” me.
√ 33. So I don’t struggle getting in and out of cars and buckling my seat belt.
√ 34. So I feel like a lady.
35. So when I am around other people they don’t quickly shift to make room- and then have that embarrassing moment when they overcompensate for the space needed.

The dreaded MAN COLD!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Finally a new post! We are off to NC for two days :) My first Thanksgiving since the Weight loss surgery. I have gotten used to NOT eating so hopefully this won't be too hard, I do not want to get sick and be in pain. I am thankful for this new chance in life and no meal s worth the pain of overeating or dumping. I plan to eat by the rules- protein 1st, low fat veggies next and ONLY sugar free stuff- Grazing may be tempting, but I will refrain. For all of you non- digestion altered folks (NDAF) enjoy Thursday and diet Friday!

In honor of all my Redneck friends and family from NC, TX, GA, VA and OK , please enjoy the following by Sweettea Films:

Hi HOOOOO!!!!!!!!

it's off to work I Go!

Selling Real Estate :) That is why I have been MIA lately! If you are in Va - Hampton Roads area , then let me help you ( yes that is a shamless plug )


Here is my Picture that will soon be added to my work page and
here is my work page:

Weichert Realtors

I will have the Realtor title as soon as my membership is approved by the National board of Realtors :)

WFMW: Picture Labels for Pre- Readers

My Children: Princess (4) and Superboy (3) have been keeping their room organized and putting away their own clothes since they were 2 and 3. How? With the aid of Picture labels, I labeled all their dressers with clip art of Panties, Socks a car for "by-bye clothes" and a swing for "play clothes". As far as toys I "right clicked" many things from the Toys R Us Site to make those labels. When laundry needs to be put away I make piles near their dresser and usually point out the "play clothes" pile and the "bye-bye pile" they do the rest!
This works wonders! Picture Labels work for me!

Visit: Rocks in My Dryer for more ideas!

I Can Relate!

Bill Cosby Himself - Chocolate Cake

Add to My Profile | More Videos

For those of us who were Children of the 80's

A little AC/DC

Sunday Treats and Chore charts

My Children ages 3 and 4 have Chores every day except Sunday. Sunday is their day off and treat day, because they are too young for an allowance on Sunday they get to pick something from the treat box. They alternate daily between this list:
Clean up toys from everywhere but the room, Vac cum,clean bedroom (they share a room), dust, help put away dishes, clean the glass on the front door,help with trash. They also put away their laundry. Some of these are on a as needed basis. They know that they are not doing their job correctly if they complain or whine (I usually have to gently remind that that God says to do everything without whining or complaining. So teaching character and responsibility Works for me!

PS- If you would like to see our chart or for some links to some others please e-mail me :)

Be sure to visit Rocks in My Dryer for more ideas!

Check marks!

Ok- So I had a list of weight loss goals :) Here it is only 1 and 1/2 months out and already I can mark off some of my goals as done! WOOOOOOO_HOOOOOOOOO!

Here is the original post.

Now without further wait- My goal list re-visited:

My motivation/goals for WLS

1. To ride a bike : DONE!
2. To walk without being breathless: DONE!
3. To sit in chairs with arms without bruising myself : DONE!
4. To not have to wonder if I will fit or break a chair
5. To fit in amusement park rides
6. To buy my clothes in a “regular size”
7. To run
8. to swing with my kids
9. To not have to avoid the beach because walking in the sand I sink and become exhausted
10. To feel good about me
11. To be able to go all day without napping : DONE!
12.To be able to tuck in my shirt
13. So I’m not always self-conscious about my weight, wondering what other people are thinking about how big I am.
14. So I don’t end up with diabetes like my mom, aunt, siblings and both grandmothers. : DONE!
15. I don’t want to have a heart attack before I’m 40 : DONE!
16. So people don’t perceive me as lazy, because I’m not!
17. Because if a restaurant has booths with a fixed (non-movable)
table, I can’t sit in a booth.
18. So I can buy a bra from the rack in the store and not have to buy them off the Internet or mail order catalogs.
19. So I can know, for once in my life, that I was finally able to take
control of my eating and my weight . In Progress :)
20. I want to feel attractive and sexy !
21.I want to be able to cross my legs!
22. So that when my hubby and kids hug me they can wrap their arms all the way around.
23.Because I can’t walk at the same pace as my husband, otherwise I’d break out in a sweat and being breathless.
24.A lot of what I have in my closet was not purchased because I like
it….I got it simply because it fit and I needed clothes . I want to buy clothes because I like them.
25. Because I cannot get life insurance.
26. I want to teach my children healthy habits by example. In Progress :)
27. Not ever looking looking pregnant just fatter.
28. To wear cute shoes
29.To be able to fly without paying extra or getting a seat belt extender or worst of all- squishing my neighbor!
30. To be able to walk through a tight space like: between cars in a parking space or in a theater or between pews and people at church or in a crowded restaurant,
31. So I don’t see the “look” when people meet me.
32. So people don’t “not Look” at me and avoid “hearing” me.
33. So I don’t struggle getting in and out of cars and buckling my seat belt. : DONE!
34. So I feel like a lady.
35. So when I am around other people they don’t quickly shift to make room- and then have that embarrassing moment when they overcompensate for the space needed.

Fun With Your name

Flicker has a page where you can spell your name ad you get a cool Picture of it!

Try it here:http://metaatem.net/words/

Here is mine:

What Parent can't relate to this?

ENJOY!

I could have told them that!

Scientist have finally found the "skinny gene!"
Now just one question... Why not me Lord?!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20535978/