The proper way to weigh yourself!

New York.., New York...

New York, New York

(Ebb-Kander)

---

Start spreading the news
I'm leaving today
I want to be a part of it, New York, New York
These vagabond shoes
Are longing to stray
And make a brand new start of it
New York, New York
I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps
To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These little town blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
In old New York
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you, New York, New York.

I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps
To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These little town blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
In old New York
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you, New York, New York.

That's right , we leave in the morning for a week! Ryan and I plan to see Janine and Ricky her Fiance and our neice Lilly. It has been 4 long years since we last saw Ryan's sister and family! This will be the 1st time I ever seen the Big Apple! By the way, I just closed the deal on my 1st home sale!!!

Politics: This is for both parties :)

THIS IS A NONPARTISAN JOKE THAT CAN BE ENJOYED BY BOTH PARTIES!

NOT ONLY THAT, it is POLITICALLY CORRECT!!

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'

'No problem, just let me in,' says the man.

'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.'

'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the senator.

'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting Rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

'Now it's time to visit heaven.'

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.'

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.'

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,'stammers the senator. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?'

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted.'

Happy New Year- The Dolly Project

Ok , I KNOW this sounds just like a thousand other's New Year's resolutions...

But here goes:

1. Get back on track the holidays are over- so is my eating sugar, snacking etc..ALL vacations must end.I start tomorrow doing the "5 Day Pouch test", in order to re-set my habits. I did well , but it's back to business now :) I still managed to drop a pound!
2. WRITE Down and track my exercise. I plan to start jogging when I get to 200 pounds, which will be in '08.
3. Work hard ad work smart- I have many business goals this year- I want to see 40,000 and 24 homes sold.
4. Make my family and God a continued priority.
5. Make some Spiritual and Character changes within myself... Too personal to share, but God is aware :) Hey , I'm a poet and I didn't even know it!
6. Try to update my blog more often!
7. Continue to Fulfill my weight loss goals.
8. Here they are again and I have √'d the ones that I have done already. This is from a post found here

My motivation/goals for WLS

√1. To ride a bike
√2. To walk without being breathless
√3. To sit in chairs with arms without bruising myself
√4. To not have to wonder if I will fit or break a chair
5. To fit in amusement park rides
6. To buy my clothes in a “regular size”
7. To run
8. to swing with my kids.

9. To not have to avoid the beach because walking in the sand I sink and become exhausted too fast

10. To feel good about me
√11. To be able to go all day without napping
12.To be able to tuck in my shirt
13. So I’m not always self-conscious about my weight, wondering what other people are thinking about how big I am.

√ 14. So I don’t end up with diabetes like my mom, aunt, siblings and both grandmothers.
√ 15. I don’t want to have a heart attack before I’m 40
16. So people don’t perceive me as lazy, because I’m not!
√ 17. Because if a restaurant has booths with a fixed (non-movable)
table, I can’t sit in a booth.
√ 18. So I can buy a bra from the rack in the store and not have to buy them off the Internet or mail order catalogs.
√ 19. So I can know, for once in my life, that I was finally able to take control of my eating and my weight.
20. I want to feel attractive and sexy !
21.I want to be able to cross my legs!
22. So that when my hubby and kids hug me they can wrap their arms all the way around.
23.Because I can’t walk at the same pace as my husband, otherwise I’d break out in a sweat and being breathless.
√ 24.A lot of what I have in my closet was not purchased because I like
it….I got it simply because it fit and I needed clothes . I want to buy clothes because I like them.
25. Because I cannot get life insurance.
√ 26. I want to teach my children healthy habits by example.
27. Not ever looking looking pregnant just fatter.
28. To wear cute shoes
29.To be able to fly without paying extra or getting a seat belt extender or worst of all- squishing my neighbor!
√ 30. To be able to walk through a tight space like: between cars in a parking space or in a theater or between pews and people at church or in a crowded restaurant,
31. So I don’t see the “look” when people meet me.
32. So people don’t “not Look” at me and avoid “hearing” me.
√ 33. So I don’t struggle getting in and out of cars and buckling my seat belt.
√ 34. So I feel like a lady.
35. So when I am around other people they don’t quickly shift to make room- and then have that embarrassing moment when they overcompensate for the space needed.

The dreaded MAN COLD!!

Hi HOOOOO!!!!!!!!

it's off to work I Go!

Selling Real Estate :) That is why I have been MIA lately! If you are in Va - Hampton Roads area , then let me help you ( yes that is a shamless plug )


Here is my Picture that will soon be added to my work page and
here is my work page:

Weichert Realtors

I will have the Realtor title as soon as my membership is approved by the National board of Realtors :)

I Can Relate!

Bill Cosby Himself - Chocolate Cake

Add to My Profile | More Videos

For those of us who were Children of the 80's

A little AC/DC

Fun With Your name

Flicker has a page where you can spell your name ad you get a cool Picture of it!

Try it here:http://metaatem.net/words/

Here is mine:

What Parent can't relate to this?

ENJOY!

Thank God- Summer is almost over

Now don't get me wrong I love the outdoors just like every one else. I am just grateful that with cooler weather Brittney Spears will HAVE to wear pants again!

Mom my ride

All you moms can relate to this one ;)

A good use of McDonald's Fries

My OBIT

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

My family as a Simpson

In order:

Super Boy (3), Princess (4), Me and Prince Charming- Wonder Dog is not Shown-

Simpsonize your family here.

This One's For the girls...

Men.. Proceed with caution- this may be TMI for yall!



I received this in a e-mail, I don't know who originally Wrote this but it is too funny not to post!


The Art of Waxing...

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck
together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out
the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I
move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip)
I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.... OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the
hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!* I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret
of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know
exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and .... OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out
of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works !!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color......

Things I Love: Retro And Funny things! or What I would buy if I could....

I adore retro items and even more when they are funny! If you agree then take a look at these cute sites:

Warning: Some are a little ... shall we say ... risqué :)

http://www.annetaintor.com/

http://www.plushliving.net/magnets.html

http://www.watchyourfigure.com/magnets.htm

http://www.allposters.com/-st/Retro-Humor-Magnet-Posters_c18328_s20017_.htm


and a place for some accessories:


http://www.bettysattic.com/

I Won A MAJOR AWARD!

Mr. Parker: It's a Major Award!
Swede: Shucks I wouldn't know that. It looks like a lamp.
Mr. Parker: What is a lamp, you nincompoop? Tt's a Major Award. I won it!
Swede: Damn, hell, you say won it?
Mr. Parker: Yeah, mind power, Swede; mind power.



I WON!!!!

I was enterening Almost all of the "Dog Days Of Summer Bloggity Giveaways." So far I have won one of the drawings ! If I win any more, I will post them here too (fingers, toes and eyes crossed! Please be sure to visit my NEW blogging friends:)

A HUGE thanks to:

Forty Before 40- For the Subscription to "Real Simple" Magazine

And The Winner Is.........

Insert drum roll here :)



I had my Three year old draw from a bowl today.

And the winner is:

Happy Momma!!!!

Take a look at her blog:
http://www.afishingpoleandaskillet.blogspot.com/


Congrats Happy Momma!

The Internet is GONE!!!!!!!!